Funny Quotes and Thoughts

A woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
-- Gandhi

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
-- Margaret Mead

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
-- Garrison Keillor

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
-- Oscar Wilde

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out.
-- Matthew Broderick

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.
-- Author Unknown

He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
-- Author Unknown

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
-- Author Unknown

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-- Author Unknown

If you rest, you rust.
-- Helen Hayes

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
-- Rita Mae Brown

Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
-- Author Unknown

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
-- German Proverb

We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
-- George Bernard Shaw