Monday, September 19, 2011

Insults Before 4-letter words

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words..

·A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
·"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

·"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

·"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

·"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

·"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

·"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

·"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

·"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

·"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
·"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

·"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

·"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

·"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

·"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

·"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

·"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

·"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

·"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

·"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

·"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

·"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

·"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

·"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

3 comments:

  1. these are great and ten times better than any 4 letter word

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those are amazing! I just had such a giggle!

    ReplyDelete

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