Insanity is inherited -- you get it from your kids.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.
You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
There are three ways to get things done:
-do it yourself
-hire someone to do it
-forbid your kids to do it
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
The best thing to spend on your children is time.
Say what again.
17 hours ago